Not related to anything I usually talk about, but a doctor for the Cleveland Clinic, one of the top hospitals in our country, forced a fatal brain aneurysm in a dog for sales demonstration.

FTA:

“The U.S. Department of Agriculture will send an inspector to the Cleveland Clinic to probe the killing of a dog that was used in a sales training session, the agency said Friday.

The clinic, known for its heart center and for treating high-profile patients such as royalty, had reported itself to the USDA, which regulates animal testing.

A neurosurgeon had induced a brain aneurysm in a dog to demonstrate a medical device Wednesday to a group of 20 to 25 salespeople.”

It’s disgusting.

Why not have some Sonofabitch stew to celebrate the occasion.

Life, in my opinion, is pretty pointless. Some may think the objective is to bring glory to God or to accumulate as much wealth as possible. I however think that the universe and our lives are inherently meaningless. Not because I am an atheist, I am not so simple. I am at my core a hypocritical cynic: my cognitive self lives in a bunker ducking the less sophisticated, contemptible, aspects of me – my emotional, physical and spiritual components. These latter few are in a perennial struggle to dominate one another. Whoever’s on top for the moment gets to taunt the bunkered down rationalist with wisps of threats, intimidations, false promises, and insults.

Anyhow, I believe that even the people with the strongest faiths devise for themselves whatever meaning they experience. We bring our own meaning to this world, and that makes us responsible (and I can be very judgmental). Although the universe really is meaningless at its pith, we are not able to completely and willfully redefine it. We as individuals have been built on a foundation of meaning assembled during our development and socialization. We can recognize the foundation, even if we cannot remove it. For me personally, the knowledge that parts of me with powerful influence (such as emotions, first reactions, the tendency to classify in certain ways) are not innate brings me a sense of peace. This is the bunker in which I hide while the rest of me is busy recreating the emotional equivalent of the German western front of the First World War.

So life is pointless, was my point. The days pass, time moves on, and what of it. We did not choose to be here, it simply just happened. We don’t really choose to continue (although a pedantic existentialist might say not ending it is a choice). Time just passes, and we have the option of doing something with this time. We could let it pass indolently or busy ourselves with some activity. Either choice is as good, really, and neither will have any impact on anything ultimately. But that nagging foundation within me has got me inclined to think that I better do something with my time, as a means to alleviate that emotionally painful thought “the man I will be becomes the man I have been.”

And so allow me to introduce my new Goal Oriented Living™ perspective, just in time for New Year’s resolutions. This idea springs in part from my experience this year, where I took it upon myself to accomplish a couple of goals including graduating from the SIRLS program within a year and changing my diet. The successful conclusion of both of these has left me feeling really empty and hollow. Which really wasn’t what I had intended or expected (I mean shouldn’t I feel good?). Instead I just feel dread, a dread more painful than the anguish of trying to accomplish seemingly un-accomplishable goals (that are within my reach if only if I can defeat my terrible self image). And so you see there’s an option I have here: feel terrible dread or less terrible anguish, and I am choosing the latter.

In 2007 I will accomplish the following goals:

Body – Run a marathon (created a training schedule)*, reduce weight to under 200lb (currently at about 215lb – was 250lb a year ago).
Mind – Learn C# and ASP.NET, strengthen my Python, XML, and regular expression skills.
Spirit – Finish Anna Karenina, read the Aeneid, and the Divine Comedies.
Career – Make manager.
Financial – follow my (intensive) student-loan repayment plan.
Relationship – have a child with my wife.
Development – create a new version of my Color Tool.

*I tried it last year and failed. I will succeed this year.

These goals also fit in with my new ‘metrics are important’ outlook. You see I will create plans to succeed; I will measure my progress, and re-evaluate and retool as needed. If I fail at anything I will be able to know why, readjust, and retry. This will set the direction for my activities this next year, center my thinking, and prevent me from going off the path. When I am approached with or develop an idea that may take up resources and time I will be able to evaluate to what extent the idea(s) fit in with my prior established goals, and if they do not fit in, I will discard them. Commitment will be essential, and I will apply the same level of commitment to these goals as I did to my SIRLS graduation in 2006, when fear of marriage failure and bankruptcy motivated me to succeed.

Cpl Jason L. Dunham, a United States Marine, has been posthumously awarded the Metal of Honor by President George W. Bush.

On April 14, 2004, in Iraq near the Syrian border, the corporal used his helmet and his body to smother an exploding Mills Bomb let loose by a raging insurgent whom Dunham and two other Marines tried to subdue.

The explosion dazed and wounded Lance Cpl. William Hampton and Pfc. Kelly Miller. The insurgent stood up after the blast and was immediately killed by Marine small-arms fire.

“By giving his own life, Cpl. Dunham saved the lives of two of his men and showed the world what it means to be a Marine,” said Bush.

I used to stand inside the battalion headquarters of my unit when I was a Marine and read about WWII, Korean and Vietnam war Metal of Honor recipients, and it seemed so distant to me. Their names were on plaques on the wall, with the official record of how they earned their metal. A different time. That was during the Clinton years, and we as a country were not doing much in the way of combat and war. To read about this now, it’s a little stirring. However anyone may feel about the war, this man gave his life to save his friends. There’s no denying the heroism and valor of Cpl. Jason L. Dunham, a Marine and a Hero.

That’s right. You must all call me master now. But really, I wont make you. Yes, however, I did finish my graduate education, at least for now. Today I was awarded a Masters of Arts in Information Resources and Library Science from the University of Arizona! It was a great experience, SIRLS is a fantastic department, and I have learned a tremendous amount. Does that mean I am a librarian? What does someone do with this degree? I have no idea. I don’t really have the experience necessary to work in a librarian position. Most people have some experience, and most positions require some, at least to be competitive. I have never worked in a library. I suppose the M.A. will make me more marketable, but my problem has always been experience and interest. I have no experience in anything, and my interests are really diverse and none of them seem to include working on a job. I am employed right now. I work at the famous Canyon Ranch in marketing. Is marketing something I want to do for the rest of my life? I don’t know. We’ll see what I end up doing.

The site may look irregular in the meantime. I hope it will look great when it is done. Thank you.